Spring should belong to Autumn~

Yesterday,I discussed with Pei Zhen and Eet Fang regarding the four seasons in a year.As we all know,there are Spring,Summer,Autumn and Winter.

However,I felt that the word 'Spring' suits the yellowish season instead of 'Autumn'.Whatever~As Eet Fang said,everything is already conventional and being recognised by the whole world which means that we can't change this truth.

This made me recall back the memory when I was in Form 5.At that time,my additional mathematic teacher always told us that we shouldn't question those who had been said by the ancestors as why the number '2' is read as 'Two'?Simple,right?haha...It is just that you already need to know all these things and should not deny this truth.

Haiz...This made me felt like missing my Form 5 life~~~ T.T

Friendship?

Friendship...Is it already the rule in the universe that once somebody treats us well,we should treat him or her back with true heart?

Or else,will it be just my assumption towards true friendship in this world?Why I just feel that it is hard to handle?And instead,I found that true friend is hard to find within your long life journey...

I just hope there is someone who can really take care of my brittle heart and won't let me getting hurt from friendship anymore~

Korean Songs VS Love

Recently,I likes to listen to Korean romantic songs...haha...By they way,it really inspires me...Actually,can be said as giving me a chance to deep into the feelings of love...haha...I do love the feelings~Something kinda sad with sweet taste...haha...

I will wait for my true love to come~ ^^
Hoping that such days will be come soon and very very soon~hehe

*LOVE*

What love is actually about?Till now,I also don't have any idea.For me,I just feel that it is almost like a thing that situated very far away from me.In my opinion,I would like to describe it as rose.
When you haven't own it,you will try to your best to possess it.This is because human will only feel attractive towards things that rare enough and haven't seen it before.

However,once you owned it,You will not appreciate it.You might feel that it is nothing great actually.There will be another assumption.That is you might scare to lose it.This is because you know that nothing will last eternally.Or else,you might also feel that you are afraid to be hurted by it.Yet,you are trying to stay away from it.Slowly by slowly,bits by bits.Unfortunately,once you already fall in love deeply,it is very hard to you to pick yourself away from it.You will only getting more sad and more hurt from it.Hence,you will only feel burden and fatigue.

So,here is the question.'Should we away from love?'

Distance & Time...Not the Factors of Love

Before that,I thought that only external factors like time and distance would only change someone's heart.However,I was wrong.

I have a friend who is a girl.A very emotional girl.However,she is very experience and seems to have deep research on love relationship.She told me that not external factors changed people's mind,but the people himself already created a wrong thinking to have a reason for him to change.

I was shocked at that time.And of course,I didn't know what she trying to say to me.I just knew that maybe I was wrong.Yes,I was wrong.Totally wrong.Not distance and time which changed someone,but the person himself changed because of his mind.

So,from now onwards,I would only accept reasons that do not include the factor of distance and time.Only the person himself can control his mind.If his love is strong enough,his love definitely won't lust.

My First Propose

I found that during these days,I acted quite weird.I didn't know why.I just knew that if I met her in person,I would definitely felt uncomfortable.I felt something that I hardly explained grew in my heart.

Later,as time went by,I started to uncover the truth.Sorry to say that,I fall in love.I began to have strange feelings towards a girl.My heartbeat increased drastically when I saw her.I couldn't control myself.I began to quarrel with her.We quarrelled for nothing.I didn't know why.I just wanted to quarrel with her.Maybe I just wanted to create topics to talk with her.When I talked to her,my mouth seemed to be lost control.I spoke things that were not fixed with our conservation.

I began to think back.I analysed the problems.What I did actually?Impossible!It was not the truth.I found that I fall in love with her.I love her.Why?As much as I dreaded facing the inevitable,I accepted it with moderate feelings.I tried to convince myself.I already love her.This was the truth.I had to face it.So,I had a talk with her personally.

Unfortunately,she rejected me.She said that she had not enough preparation for love relationship.After I heard her explaination,my brittle heart was devastated.I heard the breaking of bottle came from my deep heart.My tears began to stream down my cheek,like unthreaded pearls.I said to her that I would give her time for her to accept me.Maybe she could also have her time to understand me more.

She said cruelly to me that I had to give up instead.She already had a person who stood firmly in her heart.That person occupied a very important position in her heart.I couldn't replace him.So,she would wait for the person to come towards her one day.I felt that I was lost.Sailing alone in the sea of loneliness.I could not find out the exit.I started to scared.

I asked myself.'When can I find my true love who can sacrifice the same as what I sacrifice for our love?'

Perhaps,I would have to wait for it.I strongly stood with my opinion that my time to wait for it worth for it.

Love...Stay away from it?

Before that,I felt that love,for me is a stranger that won't come into my ordinary life.I also never have any expectation towards my love relationship.I know,love is a hazardous thing.My sense always tells me not to go near or get involve in it.I obey it and convince myself to be moderate.

However,after I met many cases happening around me,I felt that I was wrong.Although love is a dangerous object,it colourises our life.Our life,initially just like a white sheet of paper,becomes colourful due to the presence of love.Love changes us from immatured to matured,from unperfect to perfect.

Our mind,initially blank,now becomes full...Full with memories.Memories with lover,people whom you love.Although at last you and your lover may seperate due to several reasons,what you gave or gained in this relationship is a memory.A memory with your lover,although is just a small part,a short period in your life,it happened in your real life.Your lover maybe a passer-by in your life but his or her presence has changed your mind and thinking.You changed because of him or her.

Your lover is not neccessary belonged to you.However,your heart has already belonged to him or her.What you can do is just wish him or her to have a sweet life.Bless him or her with your deepest will.Love a person,is not a must to own physically,but in the field of soul.Your soul is already mixed with feelings that are unexplainable.You can't control your mind.You keep on thinking of him or her.You always wonder where and what he or she is doing now?

And of course,love is just a memory.A memory which makes your life perfect,inordinary.This memory will present in your mind forever.No matter how you wish to delete it,forget it,you can't.Please don't bury your head in the sand like an ostrict.This will only make you suffer.You will only feel that it is very difficult for you to continue your life.

In a nutshell,there is no such ways to stay away from love,but just accept it when it comes to you.So,just use moderate feelings to lead your life.Thus,any obstacles will not stop you and affect your mind.

My Worries

When I was alone...
I thought of many things...
My past...
What had I done during these time?
What had I lost?
My present days...
What I am doing now?
What's circling my mind right now?
My future...
Shall I continue my life without any change?
Keep on my life with what I own?
I confused...
I tried to think...
Thinking where should I lead my way...
I lost...
Lost in the wide ocean...
Sailing alone...Without any sailors be with me...
Lost in the deep jungle...
Adventuring alone...Without the aid of compass...
Lost in my life journey...
Walking alone...In a long life journey...
Very depressed...Really uncomfortable...
The journey is too long...
I wish...
There is someone who can stay beside me...
Cheer me up...Support me...
Yet...
Till now...
I'm still waiting for that person...
Long for you...